I think I am getting soft.....

First, I don't consider your hesitation a sign of weakness. I suspect it is a healthy blend of ethics and pragmatism. You're flashing back to the old nursery rhyme - "Should I kill the goose that lays the golden eggs?" Sounds like deer are a bit sparse in the area. Deer don't wander far from their birthplace so if you shoot the big doe, that takes a reproductive engine out of the area - the probability of more deer in the future, at least from her is diminished. You're concerned that if you shoot the big doe you're really killing 3 deer, as the small ones may not be ready to breed or last long without supervision. I think if you shoot the big doe, your ethics will haunt you as you start to take that first bite at the dinner table. You'll be thinking about those two little ones and your meal will be unsatisfying. I think the better story for your grandkids is how you could have harvested the big doe but allowed it to live and continue to pro-create - for you and for them. The does will all be around next season - likely with some friends. Then you can shoot with a clear conscience.

I see the calves and kids that are dam raised will bed near or with their mother for life and the bottle fed babies which were removed from the dam will not recognize her and will bed with other yearlings within their grouping. I believe that I see this reflected in deer bedding areas which is easily recognized when snow in play to highlight the bedding tendencies.

Years ago while bow hunting, two deer came in and as I drew back on the larger doe the second deer ran a few steps to the first and tried to nurse. I let the bow down as I felt that it was not my position to wean the yearling. My hunting buddies did bust on me for my inaction with one stating that he "Would have stuck the baby to the ground with an arrow and then killed mom".

Your choice is well reasoned and your future hunting opportunities with benefit as Greg stated. I like his observation of the distaste while eating the meal. Likewise, I often wonder how guys that illegally take an animal and have it mounted can ever look at it on the wall and not think about their unethical actions.