the last thing from Allison's sister Lindsey
This was written by Lindsay, the best sister Allison could have wished for. Lindsay sacrificed all of her free and sometimes not free time the past 3 1/2 years to spend time with and care for, run errands make trips to the pharmacy , hospital or doctor appointments. These are her words and God bless her loyalty and committment to her sister.
Charlie
Dear Allison's friends and supporters,
This is Lindsay, Allison's sister, writing this update, which is the most difficult thing I have ever had to write. Our beloved Allie passed away yesterday morning, July 5, 2021. We are beyond broken and I am sure many of you are hurting as well. As you know from Allie's updates, her battle with cancer started - as she would say "a damned bomb drop" - serious with a stage IV diagnosis. It was not just a diagnosis of colorectal cancer, but also cancer in her stomach and liver. Allie took it on and responded with the mindset that she would beat it. Over the next 3 1/2 years, she went through fourteen (FOURTEEN) surgeries and countless emergency invasive procedures, like when her intestines would come out of the colostomy and she needed medical care to get them back in her body.
She remained tough at a level that none of us can truly understand since we have not lived it. She showed us all what it meant to be strong, not just with her body but with her mind. Months ticked by as she endured 8-hour chemo sessions. She was pumped with steroids that made her bloated but were necessary to give her strength as she could barely eat. After the chemo, she faced months of radiation. And then there were the side-effects from all the treatments. The peeling of her skin on her hands and the tingling which made it hard to touch anything. The swelling of her feet - so swollen she had to crawl as the pain to walk on them was too intense. The blood curling pain she had from an infection that developed in her rectum that required a drain be placed in her, which she had to clean daily. Appointments, blood draws, scans, prescription refills, hospital visits, more surgeries - week after week after week.
As the body responded, the pain increased. She made it through the most brutal things a body can endure and, despite week upon week of being exhausted, nauseous, in throbbing pain, she would then have a good day and use that as a stepping stone on her road to recovery. She shared the positives on the good days - like making herself a smoothie and feeling good after taking a nap - and showed grit by making it through the bad days but not truly sharing how bad they were.
As you all know from Allie's update at the beginning of 2021, the cancer had metastasized to her brain. The headaches she endured required the most serious of medications to try to lessen the pain. She began radiation for the brain cancer just to decrease the size of the tumors pushing through her skull. Through this, the other pain in her body remained and became more intense as the cancer spread. In the past few months, it took over. She lost a drastic amount of weight and no matter how hard she tried to eat, stay hydrated, and rest, it kept coming.
I hugged her on June 22nd as I left for my flight back to Phoenix. Two days later, when I checked in with her as our mom (Patti) was flying out to San Diego to be with her. No matter how shitty she felt, she would always tell me she was "okay." But on June 24th, she said "I'm not good." Our mom arrived at her place and doctor friend (Amalia Aleck) checked on her and saw her dire condition. Our mom took her straight to the emergency room where she was stabilized and very quickly taken into surgery. My dad and I drove to San Diego that night and when we spoke with the surgeon at 3am after her procedure, we learned that a hole had developed in her intestine and fecal matter was spilling into her body, like poison. She kept intubated with her abdominal open for three days after which the doctors took her back into surgery to ensure she was cleaned out and re-attached her intestines and closed her abdomen.
On Monday (June 28th) as my mom and I were getting ready to go see her in the hospital, I got a call from one of the surgeons who reported that her left lung had filled with fluid and they had to do an emergency procedure to drain it. We raced up from her house in North Park to the hospital in La Jolla and saw 6-7 doctors and nurses keeping her alive with bagging air into her mouth as they prepared to drain her lung. After one lung was drained, we thought she was stable, but then the other lung was leaking air so she was taken back to the operating room for another procedure. She returned to the ICU room where we waited with two drains in her lungs and in a state from which she would not recover.
The intubation tube was taken out and though she could not speak, she could hear, feel, and was responsive. Over the next couple of days, her close friends came to see her and tell her how much they loved her. Other friends sent voice messages that I played for her (a couple of times so that I know she heard them). We snuck her dog into the hospital so that she could feel him by her side, as he has been for seven years. My mom, dad, and I stayed with her in the hospital all day and night from June 28th until we watched her take her last few breaths on July 5th. Despite her body failing her, her heart was so strong. Many of you know she would always say "I Heart you" or sign a note "Heart, Allie" and she had the biggest heart of anyone I've ever known. She lived her life always living for the "now" and always doing something for others. We are now the broken-hearted ones with her gone. But, her spirit and her love will live on in us and with all of us honoring her and showing love.
Thank you all for your unwavering support of Allie through the biggest battle of life. And, thank you for the donations that have helped cover medical bills and her survival.
Lindsay Herf