Wisdom From Mark Twain

I have carried a revolver; lots of us do, but they are the most innocent things in the world.
- Mark Twain, interview, Adelaide South Australian Register, 10/14/1895

I was armed to the teeth with a pitiful little Smith & Wesson's seven-shooter, which carried a ball like a homopathic pill, and it took the whole seven to make a dose for an adult. But I thought it was grand. It appeared to me to be a dangerous weapon. It had only one fault--you could not hit anything with it. One of our 'conductors' practiced awhile on a cow with it, and as long as she stood still and behaved herself she was safe; but as soon as she went to moving about, and he got to shooting at other things, she came to grief.
- Mark Twain, Roughing It

The idea that no gentleman ever swears is all wrong. He can swear and still be a gentleman if he does it in a nice and benevolent and affectionate way.
- Mark Twain

The spirit of wrath - not the words - is the sin; and the spirit of wrath is cursing. We begin to swear before we can talk.
- Mark Twain

“Right is right, and wrong is wrong, and a body ain’t got no business doing wrong when he ain’t ignorant and knows better.”
- Mark Twain, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.
- Mark Twain

Do not complain about growing old. It is a privilege denied to many.
- Mark Twain

The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened.
- Mark Twain