the latest from Charlie Herf's daughter Allison in her
fight with cancer...
Hello Friends & Family
Happy 2019!!!! ✨
Hopefully still an acceptable greeting in February...?!! I’m going with Yes, not like it’s June!! It’s a proven fact I’m late for everything, so why deviate from my norm, even after I lost my hair during chemo, much to my dismay I wasn’t much faster at getting ready!! Go figure♀️. I’ve convinced myself it’s better to be late than never... right?! Although certain etiquette does apply!
Hope 2019 is treating you well & living up to your expectations!!!
Last year I believe my head was still trying to wrap my mind around being diagnosed with Stage 4 Metastatic Colorectal Cancer, having urgent surgery, informed children were no longer an option, a week+ in the hospital between c-diff / ecoli infection and surgery prep / recovery in December. Then kicked off New Years 2018 with chemo cocktails and infusion ‘parties’!⚕️⚕️ How Awesome was that!!
New Years 2019 luckily was a bit toned down, instead of pumping poison into my body to kill the cancer. I rang in the new year with Liver Surgery, just a major organ being sliced & diced then sewn back up!Rad! So fun!!
The surgery involves removing approx 23-25% of my liver where the cancer metastasized, possibly my gallbladder if it’s hindering the ability to cleanly remove the necessary portions of my liver. Along with the surrounding areas that appeared remotely concerning!!!
I may have had some shitty New Years but I’m alive to tell the story and many more to come!!! ♀️
The lesions on my liver were no surprise, they were discovered along with my initial Colorectal cancer, diagnosis in December 2017. However at that time the 2 spots were approx the size of a pen head.
The spots remained very small throughout chemo and after radiation were almost nonexistent to the untrained eye!!
Fast forward from July 2018 to December 2018, and boom!! Those tiny dots were now approx 2-2.5” in diameter, Awesome!!!
Yet again another one of those “Awe fuuuuuck” moments whispered not so quietly. Ok then...On To The Next...
Honestly I really wasn’t looking forward to this particular surgery, not that I’ve been jumping for joy with any of my previous surgeries. I think this one was mainly because I wanted simply 1 or 2 more weeks of No hospitals, actual down time, not recovering from something or braving through side effects from treatment. Nope, wiggle room there was not. If you knew my oncologist you’d understand. So once again I was, on to the next one, back into the OR, a week+ hospital stay, long recovery period...
Surgery Overview:
-Removal 20-25% of liver with lesions (2 areas)
-Possible removal of gallbladder if it gets in the way
-6-8 day hospital stay after surgery ***Should’ve been a red flag this surgery wasn’t going to be easy, that’s a decent length for post surgery hospital stay
-8-10 week full recovery *If no infection & heal correctly internally
-an incision that runs from the middle of my breast plate, down below my ribs, turning right under my rib cage towards my waste. Similar to the shape of a hockey puck, approx 16-18” long.
Above covers a basic overview of the surgery, all of the after effects you get the pleasure of discovering throughout recovery. Beginning with awakening from anesthesia to present day I’m still discovering my limitations. They had me on some pretty fgnarly meds right after surgery due to the type of surgery, size & placement of the incision, among other things but mostly to keep me, the patient, as immobile as possible the 1st 24-48 hours after.
Despite this being my 7th surgery in the past year, I could tell I was on some heavy duty stuff!! I’m all about being comfortable during all this crap but there’s a difference in managing pain and sedation. Luckily whatever strong drug I was on, they took me off of on day 2 & see how I did without it. Ok Yes Please... once that medication was removed I was much happier!! I remained on the other meds, which I’d had before, still medicated but didn’t feel so groggy or sedated anymore. I wondered at 1st why I’d been on something like that, until it was time I had to sit up, use the restroom on my own, walk around...while still in the hospital. The incision is no joke and a clear indicator of how much my surgeon had to cut internally as well. The liver is a large organ placed in a difficult & tricky spot. The rib cage, lungs, gallbladder & other organ placement making it a tough surgery.
The lack of mobility was frustrating & painful due to my core being sliced open, even the slightest deep breath and I’d want to cry!! Crying, laughing, coughing, taking a deep breath, sitting up / standing up, even standing up straight was excruciating without help or handles are just a few basic things we do a zillion times a day without hesitation. Following this surgery I dreaded any movement because it was so incredibly painful. I’m now 4+ weeks out of surgery and just recently are things getting a bit more tolerable!! This recovery has been rough to say the least!!! All of my surgeries have had their struggles, none have been easy by any means, my stomach is a clear road map to the amount of times I’ve been under the knife!!! It’s terrifying I venture to say I’d have less scars if I were bit by a shark, and survived it of course;)
I know, I know it’s not shocking that fighting cancer makes every cliche, self-help, inspirational or needlepointed quote applicable, cheesy or not I will admit the majority ring true!! Similar to things we dislike / annoy us about others, generally are the traits we don’t like about ourselves. Same applies to the cliches; Live for the little things that make you smile, be present in the moment, can’t see tomorrow if you’re constantly looking back, yada yada yada
Although there are a few quotes / verses that are regulars in my personal line up!!
These seem to pop up when needed:
My friend Christa would say “No Regrets” Truly No Regrets!!
“Do or Do Not. There is No Try.” Teachings from Yoda/ Star Wars. No, I’m not a Star Wars follower, probably saw it once when I was 8-ish?! Then again it’s Yoda, Master of the Jedi mind trick stuff!!!
Speaking of Jedi mind tricks, 40+ years as a blond with pretty straight hair & now I’m a brunette with wavy hair ♀️♀️♀️
Change is good right?!?!
Thank you all so so much for reading my updates, following my journey, your support, love and encouragement mean the world to me!!! Be in touch soon, once I’ve completed the next 4-5 weeks of tests, labs & scans, I should have results & a plan!!!
Love,
Allison 3429 Ray Street San Diego CA 92104
**Footnote: I repeat certain phrases that have stuck with me and are often on repeat in my head; “On To The Next One” chorus from JayZ ft Swizz Beatz song On to the Next One...
And
“Do or Do Not, There is no try” from the teachings of Yoda, original Star Wars.
Paralleling how I feel each time I approach & clear another hurdle!!!